Am I really missing something?

1,066 miles later, after driving all through the seemingly endless night, through thunderstorms worse than I'd seen before, after running out of gas, and becoming lost over and over, I finally arrived, and the Colorado sun greeted me warmly. I was quickly assured that yes, the hellish drive through 5 states was worth it. And the feeling of my heart skipping a beat when I finally saw him standing on the street corner outside of his barracks on Fort Carson, setting my eyes on him again for the first time since seeing him step onto a plane that would take him back to Afghanistan; that moment alone was worth the trek I thought I'd never survive.

We sat in the Garden of the Gods, taking in the beautiful scenery, sitting on the very rock we had sat on the first time we had spent any time alone together before sparking our whirlwind romance. As I lay beside him on my back, drinking in the glory that surrounded me, from the sky cluttered with tiny clouds, to the Rocky Mountains behind us, the beautiful rock formations all around us, and the sprawl of the city before us, I thought that there was no way that life could possibly be any more beautiful, that in that moment, sharing it all with Jeremy, that this was what living is all about. I felt more satisfied than at any other time in my life, that I can remember clearly.

There is always a nagging, perhaps after the moment is passed, that as completely whole as I feel with Jeremy, as satisfied as my very soul feels in the moment, that I have chosen to neglect a more real and lasting joy. But it feels more like a vague memory, eclipsed by the glory of a human love that I can touch and savor and be consumed by.

-S