I know who I am, and sometimes it scares me. I sometimes miss who I used to be, but I don't know how to reconcile the two.
I hate being stuck where I am, when I know there is so much more to life than what I'm living.
I need to be around people who know me and understand me, and right now I'm more lonely than I've ever been.
There are so many things I'd like to study, but I have no motivation to go back to school and sit through classes when I believe that going out and experiencing the world is a much more sufficient source of knowledge, however impractical for getting a degree and surviving in the 'real world'.
I have no desire to be a part of the 'real world'. Fuck that.
I am naive, and happily so.
Life is an adventure. I want to spend it exploring, learning, being stretched and growing. I want to feel alive as often as possible, and have my breath taken away time and time again. I want to be humbled, I want to be broken and rebuilt.
I hope to find myself in relationship with God again, because I know that all of the rest will be futile without Him.
-S
i'm convinced we are always in relationship with God, it just looks different as we experience time - submissive, rebellious, distant, close, growing together, growing apart, etc. so the question is not whether or not to have one, but whether to give yourself to it and to what degree.
ReplyDelete